http://boston.cbslocal.com/2016/06/...gnorance-regarding-tom-brady-and-deflategate/
BOSTON (CBS) — Chris Simms is just the gift that keeps on giving … or something like that.
The former quarterback-turned-analyst is never afraid to speak his mind, even if his mind is filled with all sorts of nonsense. He’s done it plenty on 98.5 The Sports Hub airwaves, like when he said Tom Brady wasn’t a top-five NFL QB in 2014, or when he said that Brady “tarnished” Bill Belichick’s good name, or that the reinstatement of two team employees proved Brady to be guilty in DeflateGate. He also said last December that the Jets were one of the five best teams in the NFL. (The Jets were not one of the 12 teams to make the playoffs.)
And while filling in for Craig Carton on Wednesday alongside Boomer Esiason on WFAN in New York, Simms was once again tackling the topic he loves the most but knows the least: DeflateGate.
Here’s a transcription of what Simms had to say (audio is here, about 34 minutes in), along with some interjections, from the riveting DeflateGate talk that probably electrified New York City on Wednesday morning.
Simms, on whether Roger Goodell should have the power to suspend Tom Brady:
“100 percent. Listen, the guidelines, the way they are, whether you agree with them, and Roger Goodell being the judge, the jury, and the executioner — listen, the rules were put in place. If Tom Brady and Mr. Kraft had a problem with this, they should’ve changed that back when the CBA was under negotiation a few years ago.
“Of course he deserves to be suspended for this. He took the integrity of the game into his own hand. It’s like, you know, there’s a lot of examples you could come up with regardless. But it does give you a competitive advantage. It’d be like Golden State’s down there playing on a 9-foot-10-inch rim, and the other team’s playing on a 10-foot rim. There is definitely advantages there.”
Oh, deary. We’re dropping rims now, Chris? Leaving aside the likelihood that a lower rim would probably wreck all of Steph Curry’s and Klay Thompson’s 3-point attempts, we all need to get excited, because Dr. Simms is about to grace us with his extensive knowledge of physics.
Take it away, Chris.
“If we didn’t, if there weren’t advantages and it wasn’t a big deal, then why didn’t you just pump the footballs up to 13.5 and be, ‘Oh, I’m not worried about it’? He had every ball, they said before the game started was at 12.5. Now I know everyone wants to claim the weather and that whole theory and all that crap, right? That’s a bunch of crap.”
Well then, it’s been settled. The great debate of “Is Basic Science Crap?” has finally been solved. The answer is yes — unequivocally, yes. Science is crap. Laws? You want to talk about laws of science? Pfft, try “theories,” punk; Dr. Chris has spoken.
What else do you have for us, sage Christopher?
“I don’t think it’s minor, to me. I think this is a guy that took the football and basically gave himself a competitive advantage, where the other quarterback on the other team did not have those advantages. And if the size of a football didn’t matter, then why do we have a high school football, why do we have a college football? Of course the size of the object in your hand matters, because you can manipulate it better with your hand.”
Whoa. I didn’t know that footballs with slightly lower inflation levels were suddenly smaller. I knew that Tom Brady was capable of some incredible feats, but physically changing the size of the football? That’s amazing. For that, he should be locked in jail. That’s called sorcery, and it’s against the rules. Chris is starting to make a lot of sense now.
Teach me more.
“Even with the whole Murphy’s Gas Law, the balls were all over the place in their inflation. It wasn’t like the cold weather said, ‘Aw, I’m going to take a pound of pressure out of this ball, and .5 out of this ball.'”
Wait a second.
Hold the phone.
Stop right there.
Did this dude just conflate the cultural adage of “Murphy’s Law” with the scientific equation known as the “Ideal Gas Law”? Did that just happen?
We are clearly dealing with a man who’s operating on a separate intellectual plane than the rest of us. Bravo.
And did he just anthropomorphize cold weather? The weather is talking now and making decisions? Amazing.
Much more at link. :shrug_n:
BOSTON (CBS) — Chris Simms is just the gift that keeps on giving … or something like that.
The former quarterback-turned-analyst is never afraid to speak his mind, even if his mind is filled with all sorts of nonsense. He’s done it plenty on 98.5 The Sports Hub airwaves, like when he said Tom Brady wasn’t a top-five NFL QB in 2014, or when he said that Brady “tarnished” Bill Belichick’s good name, or that the reinstatement of two team employees proved Brady to be guilty in DeflateGate. He also said last December that the Jets were one of the five best teams in the NFL. (The Jets were not one of the 12 teams to make the playoffs.)
And while filling in for Craig Carton on Wednesday alongside Boomer Esiason on WFAN in New York, Simms was once again tackling the topic he loves the most but knows the least: DeflateGate.
Here’s a transcription of what Simms had to say (audio is here, about 34 minutes in), along with some interjections, from the riveting DeflateGate talk that probably electrified New York City on Wednesday morning.
Simms, on whether Roger Goodell should have the power to suspend Tom Brady:
“100 percent. Listen, the guidelines, the way they are, whether you agree with them, and Roger Goodell being the judge, the jury, and the executioner — listen, the rules were put in place. If Tom Brady and Mr. Kraft had a problem with this, they should’ve changed that back when the CBA was under negotiation a few years ago.
“Of course he deserves to be suspended for this. He took the integrity of the game into his own hand. It’s like, you know, there’s a lot of examples you could come up with regardless. But it does give you a competitive advantage. It’d be like Golden State’s down there playing on a 9-foot-10-inch rim, and the other team’s playing on a 10-foot rim. There is definitely advantages there.”
Oh, deary. We’re dropping rims now, Chris? Leaving aside the likelihood that a lower rim would probably wreck all of Steph Curry’s and Klay Thompson’s 3-point attempts, we all need to get excited, because Dr. Simms is about to grace us with his extensive knowledge of physics.
Take it away, Chris.
“If we didn’t, if there weren’t advantages and it wasn’t a big deal, then why didn’t you just pump the footballs up to 13.5 and be, ‘Oh, I’m not worried about it’? He had every ball, they said before the game started was at 12.5. Now I know everyone wants to claim the weather and that whole theory and all that crap, right? That’s a bunch of crap.”
Well then, it’s been settled. The great debate of “Is Basic Science Crap?” has finally been solved. The answer is yes — unequivocally, yes. Science is crap. Laws? You want to talk about laws of science? Pfft, try “theories,” punk; Dr. Chris has spoken.
What else do you have for us, sage Christopher?
“I don’t think it’s minor, to me. I think this is a guy that took the football and basically gave himself a competitive advantage, where the other quarterback on the other team did not have those advantages. And if the size of a football didn’t matter, then why do we have a high school football, why do we have a college football? Of course the size of the object in your hand matters, because you can manipulate it better with your hand.”
Whoa. I didn’t know that footballs with slightly lower inflation levels were suddenly smaller. I knew that Tom Brady was capable of some incredible feats, but physically changing the size of the football? That’s amazing. For that, he should be locked in jail. That’s called sorcery, and it’s against the rules. Chris is starting to make a lot of sense now.
Teach me more.
“Even with the whole Murphy’s Gas Law, the balls were all over the place in their inflation. It wasn’t like the cold weather said, ‘Aw, I’m going to take a pound of pressure out of this ball, and .5 out of this ball.'”
Wait a second.
Hold the phone.
Stop right there.
Did this dude just conflate the cultural adage of “Murphy’s Law” with the scientific equation known as the “Ideal Gas Law”? Did that just happen?
We are clearly dealing with a man who’s operating on a separate intellectual plane than the rest of us. Bravo.
And did he just anthropomorphize cold weather? The weather is talking now and making decisions? Amazing.
Much more at link. :shrug_n:
